i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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