had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
