What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
