okay pat passed out under dana's car
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
