I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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