Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Randomize
