If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
