Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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