His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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