I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Man, jail baloney is awful.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
