His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
