Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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