You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
pray to the hookup gods
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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