Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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