What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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