traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
