Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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