is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Let's paint friendship bongs
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
