just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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