He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Its about making memories worth repressing
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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