Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
