It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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