I like my sex mixed with concussions.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
