He asked to "fluff my boner.."
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
zippers are such a cool invention
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
