summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
