Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
