Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
