so that wasnt chicken after all
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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