When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
