We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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