We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
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