College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
