i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
