I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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