If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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