You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
