Little spoons don't ask big questions
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
