I'm really into asian looking animals
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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