Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
