The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
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