omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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