dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
