Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
