Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
My butt remains clenched, sir.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
