I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
