Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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