Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
