I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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