i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
