3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
